医学角度看老婆

yuki^_^

  【品名】妻子
【通用名】老婆
【化学名称】已婚女性
【成分】水、蛋白质、脂肪、核糖核酸、碳水化合物及少量矿物质，气味幽香。
【理化性质】酸性；可分为一价（嫁）、二价（嫁）、三价（嫁）.......n价（嫁）。易溶于蜜语、甜言；遇钻石、名车、豪宅熔点降低，难溶于白丁。
【性状】本品为可乐状凹凸异性片，表面光洁，涂有各种化妆品、对钻石、铂金有强烈的亲和力；羞涩时泛红，生气时泛绿，随时间推移表面会出现黄斑，起绉，但不影响继续使用。
【功能主治】主治单身恐惧症，对失恋和相思病有明显效果，亦可用于烧淘洗买、带孩子。
【副作用】气管炎、耳根软、视疲劳、行为受阻等。严重不良反应者，可致皮肉损伤。
【用法用量】一生一片。
【禁忌症】公开服用二片或二片以上
【注意事项】 肾功能不全者慎用。
【规格】40千克至65千克，片重超标不影响使用。
【贮藏】常温下保存。避免与成群女性、单独帅哥相处。严禁在外过夜。
【包装】各种时装、鞋帽、首饰、手袋，随季节变化更换。
【有效期】至离婚日止。
【批准文号】见钻戒购买发票号码
【生产日期】同身份证出生年月日。
【生产企业】岳父岳母

glorysky

   没LP的人在顶

田鱼

Kinda similar one in English -


Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 kg may vary from 40 – 200 kg
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all shopping malls

Physical properties :
1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points

Chemical properties :
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common uses :
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent

Test :
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

Potential hazards :
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

Warning
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE

jingo

好笑，期待“从医学角度看老公”

小白

奢侈品

田鱼

可能在临床试验中     

bazooka

NO~~~待售品~

小白

半成品

猪唐唐912

太强了．．．

yuki^_^

这个是看老婆,本LZ现在不是任何人的老婆,所以本LZ和这个产品还是有相当一段长的距离的哦